Monday, August 29, 2005

Mike's drunken essay on Metallagher

Sometimes people get drunk at a Days Inn in West Allis, WI at 4 in the morning after a 5 plus hour road trip. Sometimes they throw and kick empty beer cases around the room, spin coat hangers for pure amusement, shout obsenities and slur sentences, fall into walls and other stationary furnishings. Also, sometimes their pants come off.


If you ever find yourself in a situation like this - we've found that if you bet them $40 ($20 per page) that they can't write an essay on Metallagher that they actually will sit down, keep quiet and turn in their homework...




"Have you ever experienced fruit stained shirts, ringing ears from metal rage, or hangovers on a Tuesday? If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you’ve experienced a Metallagher show. Imagine a watermelon being smashed in your face as you get smoked in the groin by a grapefruit while watching “Blackened.” “Fade to Black” plays in your ears as an orange zings by your grill. “The Last Caress” plays as you take some chocolate pudding to the temple. The insanity is endless at a Metallagher show and guess what, it’s only about to get worse.


With the crowd masses growing and the catalog of Metallagher songs inflating, the possibilities are endless as this Twin Cities band reaches regional extremes. With shows booked in neighboring states like Wisconsin and well, Wisconsin, Metallagher, while only on their eighth show, have garneshed some regional attention.


The Minneapolis five piece, featuring members such as Lars Caserole and Kirk Hamsandwich seem to take nothing seriously but the music. Speaking of which, the music is played masterfully, just as Metallica had envisioned it, but with the legion of Metallica cover bands growing bloated, an added variable has been brought into the equation.


What makes Metallagher different is the fact that they don’t care. You could spit on their gear and shit on their van, and chances are, they’d pay a homeless dude to take a picture of them with it.


Metallagher are the future generation of cover bands, a smattering of precision without the grace. A fusion of comedy without the pretense, an innovation has been brought fourth that would seem futile to replicate and seemless to regurgitate.


A pseudo version of Prop comedian Gallagher fronts this band, and well that may not interest you, the hybrid of comedy/metal explosion most certainly will.


What started as a tipsy halled pipe dream of one Brench Toast, the fusion of prop comedy and metal has only begun to unfurl.


A market seems to have been tapped, a catalog of undiscovered fans has been relocated, and everywhere you turn, the word is spreading; prepare for a applecore to the jollypatch!


Punks need their bar band, girls need a little fruit in their lives, metalheads need their metal and softies need their political commentary. Whatever your agenda, Metallagher will deliver. Minneapolis boasts one of their soon to be greatest imports, motherfuckers, prepare to meet Metallgher," - ML

Monday, August 22, 2005

Metallagher Banned From Mad Planet!!!

Metallagher was banned from our first venue: Mad Planet in Milwauke. We were complimented on how well we cleaned after the show by employees there. The sound guy had a frog up his ass the whole night, and had a problem with having to clean the cords even though we cleaned most of his cords. We did break a microphone, but we fucking paid for it. I thought everything was cool until I wrote a thank you e-mail to the promoter Jeremy. Here was his reply:

"I would love to have ya back. Next time we will do it at Onopa. The sound man tells me that both you and I are banded from the Mad Planet. Fuck em. Before you got there they were mentoring me in the ways to get out of guarantees. Give me a few months to get settled and we will do it again. I truly loved it, I would have loved it more had I not had to worry about Rose. See ya soon, Jeremy"

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Come party with Metallagher in Milwaukee THIS WEEKEND!!!

First off I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who made it out to our show with THOR on Monday! What an amazing night!
Our next show is in Milwaukee, WI this Saturday and there has been some interest in assembling a Metallagallacaravan to road trip, hit up the show, and party our asses off the whole friggin weekend!
So here's the deal... We have booked 2 rooms at $100 plus tax per room per night (hey, it was the best we could find on such short notice) Both for Friday and Saturday night at a Days Inn less than 20 minutes from the venue. The rooms have 2 beds, are smoker friendly, and are of decent size. Right now we told them we'd have about 8 total people between the two rooms, I don't know how much trouble we'll get into if we surpass that and we definately can't be held responsible if things go sour.
Right now we have 10 people, bringing the cost to $43/person total for the stay over the weekend. The plan is to meet up somewhere and leave here Friday night around 7ish and come back home sometime on Sunday once we're sober enough to drive again.
The show is part of an Import Bike Festival put on by Mad Planet ( and we are playing the Rockerbox after party Saturday Aug 20 @ 8:00P with The Luxury Pushers and others. It's 21+ and as of right now we are not sure how much the show is going to cost. I can't imagine it's going to be much though.
The address for the venue is:
533 E Center St.
Milwaukee, WI 53212
The info for our Days Inn is:
Days Inn
1673 S 108th St
West Allis, WI 53214-4022
(414) 771-3399
If you search for those address's on Map Quest you can look for nearby motels and hotels if you so wish as well.,,, and have been helpfull in finding a place to stay - if you are looking for rooms.
Feel free to use this blog if you are interested to discuss carpools, roomies, etc...
This is definitely going to be an unforgettable weekend!
\m/ Lars Arsenoremorse \m/

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Star Tribune Write Up

See What the Friday Edition of the Minneapolis Star Tribune has to say about Metallagher: